‘Kings & Castles’ thrice
Games night....... 30th April 2004 ‘Kings and Castles’ by Ragnar Brothers
Busy days in the Ragnar households. There’s a clatter of keyboards, the hum of computers and the whirr of e-mails from morning ‘til night (apart from when working at the day jobs). Dicken arrives at Kendall’s to be greeted by some hard copy at his place at the table. Rules, design notes, personal backgrounds (not too personal) and component lists all await his expert eye. Ragnar Brothers are working on a commission! It could be top secret, so no more details here folks.
Work on ‘Viking Fury’ also continues. The maps arrived earlier in the day and the boxes are due tomorrow. Kendall is struggling to break the news to his wife. Still, it means there’s a bit less carpet to hoover. Apparently the boxes look good. So good, that Ivor the box maker has decided to keep one for his display case at the factory – has he paid for it? Phil is back on the rules after a couple of weeks of the ‘other job’. Roger has had a look at them and come up with a few points regarding organisation – thanks Roger.
As a kind of celebration of all things Ragnar the game for tonight is ‘Kings andCastles’, which hasn’t had an outing for well over a year. Spiller arrives and is generally approving. That’s good. He game-tested any number of versions of this game when it was in design – and that can have a wearing effect. He willingly joins in with the set up and gives the cloth bag a good shake.
Who goes first? Don’t we put our Kings on before drawing our array? Shouldn’t those Enemies be face-up? Just because we designed it, doesn’t mean we can remember the rules.
Dicken goes first, arrays are drawn, Kings placed and the Enemies turned face-up. There is an easy rhythm and a patience in the air. Dicken invades England amid a bluster of rule explanations about what he can do where and with what. William 1 has done relatively well, so Dicken elects to Tax. Remarkably, Spiller is the only one to recall that the King’s tax is doubled – well done, Spiller. Dicken has an £11 advantage, which is deemed worthy.
Kendall continues the William 1 campaign and he too taxes with a similar advantage.
Busy days too on the day job front – and another reason why so few reviews recently. Spiller’s bid to sell music to the world continues to flourish. He mentions that he has just bought a telephone system, which will allow him to sit with a head-set on all day long. Favourite anecdotes about telephone sales inevitably follow. Dicken favours the polite brush-off ‘I don’t what to waste your time or mine, so whatever it is I don’t want to buy it. Thank you’. Spiller has been a telesales person so he is happy to have a chat with them when he has the time. Apparently repeating what they have just said is a good tactic. Kendall is accused of simply being rude.
Spiller has come in with William 2 and after wiping out the last Enemy resistance he falls upon London. Nicely in control, but decides not to Tax.
Dicken’s ‘team’ have moved to new headquarters and are due to move again in a couple of months. On top of this everyone is having new contracts imposed. Ah, the happy life of the public services.
France is carved up next, followed by Dicken’s assault on Ireland. ‘For England and Saint George!’ Despite resounding success it is Spiller who taxes next and then again later. At the half way stage things are looking pretty even. In the second half Spiller and Dicken both have back-to-back Kings to come and Kendall has Richard 3 and will therefore have the advantage of the last turn.
Kendall unexpectedly resigned his job before Easter (even Kendall hadn’t expected it). Since Easter he has joined the ranks of the great army of 'supply'. He likens this to being a mason building the cathedrals of Medieval Europe or being a navvy constructing the English canal system – take your choice of whichever pretentious analogy seems appropriate.
Spiller, the ‘powder-puff of the Scots’ is at work. His understanding of the game is unravelling before his eyes. No matter how hard he tries he can’t make a sensible move. Like a drowning man he clings to advice coming from the serpentine lips of Dicken and Kendall. To make matters worse he taxes for the third and last time, albeit with an impressive £20 advantage. He reaches for the bag to fill his array. 'You could move some armies over....’ suggests Dicken. ‘I know how to play....’ ‘I’d move some over...’ says Kendall. Spiller waves an arm in contempt. And then ..... his blindness is cured. He realises his mistake. He learns a rule. He doesn’t need to take all of his array from the bag!
It’s hard to imagine how the hundred or so people who bought this game from ‘Bristol Guild of Arts and Crafts’ are getting on. This wonderful shop has sold more copies of ‘Kings and Castles’ than any other outlet. But surely they’re not all ‘gamers’. Dicken believes most of the games will have been bought as presents for other people. Hopefully these other people are gamers. Because, despite having designed the game and despite having played it (in its final incarnation) upwards of a score of times, we still can’t stop our brains from over-heating whenever we play it. Without wishing to be over-patronising, non-gamers haven’t got a prayer.
Dicken and Spiller play out their back-to-back kings and Dicken taxes twice more. This leaves Kendall with his last tax, Richard 1 and half a dozen of his own brave lads in his array. He invades England (Kendall’s barons had been ousted long ago), grabs London and York, and taxes. It’s looking close. The Final Tax is collected and the coffers are opened. Dicken £103, Kendall £106, Spiller £112. Close indeed!
It may not be everyone’s cup of tea, you might need a German miner’s helmet to see the counters, it does take a couple of hours to play .... but we enjoy it. Quirky or ingenious, historically accurate or superficial .... if you haven’t got a copy, buy one quick! There’s only 200 left, they won’t last much more than a year and we’re not intending making any more.
11.00 pm. Bank holiday tomorrow. Games to box up. Heaven?
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'Kings & Castles - The Addendum' by Ragnar Brothers - 15/03/01
Spiller has not only agreed to play the addendum rules for K&C , he has also arrived early and is in full flow ...... "If you picture it in your mind, what sounds bigger; 3 feet by 1 foot or 100 cm by 70 cm ?" A somewhat bemused Kendall confesses that he knows the latter to be bigger, but picturing it he cannot. Dicken helpfully suggests that 3 feet is about the same as 1 metre, showing a distinct eurocentric leaning . Spiller remains stoutly a post-imperialist, whilst Dicken and Kendall fondly remember a simpler world of smaller numbers.
Unabashed, Spiller tells an historical joke, which goes like this;
....Julius Caesar walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus. "Don't you mean a Martini?" asks the barman. "If I'd wanted a double, I'd have asked for one!" retorts the conqueror of Gaul, invader of Britain, lover of Cleopatra etc. etc. ... (If you tell this joke, feel free to omit the historical ending).
And so onto Kings & Castles and the addendum. This involves selecting Kings at several points during the game, rather than just the once at the start. With three players, each player selects two of the first six Kings and then those Kings are played. Another selection is then made covering the next six Kings, which are then played out ... and so on and so forth. This introduces a good deal more strategic thinking, whilst ensuring that the maximum possible period of downtime is reduced.
Kendall's Crown is drawn first giving him first choice of a King. He decides to take the poisoned chalice that is William 1, part 1. Inevitably he finds it impossible to resist the eighteen point advantage of an early taxation and dons the mantle of the 'Tall Poppy' .
Dicken and Spiller tear into his holdings like rabid dogs, a policy they are to pursue for the entire game. This is the 'I'd rather come second than third' gambit, beloved of vindictive Ragnars. Ironically, after six Kings it is Spiller who is whinging (click HERE to listen to selected highlights). He desperately wanted to make first choice of King and can't understand why the player with the weakest map position (Kendall) should go before him. He is cordially invited to picture in his mind how it might feel if the positions were reversed. Dicken is clearly winning, despite missing a glaring opportunity to seize York prior to his first taxation. Ragnar play is typified by masses of good natured (and not so good-natured) advice to other players while-so-ever that advice serves the purposes of the advisor. There is an eerie stillness when a player shafts himself to everyone else's advantage or did he? Dicken has been known to be a sly old dog with his strategy at times and this could be his way of avoiding the stigma of being Tall Poppy while still being the Tall Poppy - time will tell.
Dicken is generous in his error and produces the Hot and Spicy Pringles - these have become very popular of late and if you haven't tried them, why not give them a go?
The addendum of the 'player to the left' removing counters has started to creak. This is partly to do with the Hot and Spicys and partly to do with players filling up their Array after the next King has started (another Addendum). Without too much fuss it is agreed that it doesn't matter which of the spare bodies takes off the used counters.
Taking his third 'Mulligan', Spiller illustrates why the job shouldn't be left to the King. Though not a complicated game, K & C continues to catch us out in the mechanics of playing out a hand. It's essential to hold in mind how the Enemy (black) counters work. They are a key element of the design and essentially drive the 'history' of the game.
However, all this is of no excuse when Spiller virtually causes a fight for failing to remember, using three black Archers in forcing Dicken out of Northern Scotland. Even less credible is Dicken's plea that he has totalled his taxation wrongly because he has muddled VIII and IX on the taxation ladder. Brains are not what they used to be. Carol has returned home and is endeavouring to turn down the gaming volume. She asserts that Kendall is the worst offender. Kendall is adamant that his position has been hopeless from the start, that he can't possibly win and that their is little or no sense in any of Dicken's or Spiller's actions that in any way jeopardise his (Kendall's) position on the map (click HERE to listen to very extended highlights).
He is absolutely correct. Dicken scores 125, Spiller scores 115, Kendall scores 106. There is just time for yet another hand of 'Carcasonne' . Carol joins in and the game is conducted in serene calm. She comes last. Dicken wins again. Farming is still King in a four player game.
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'Kings and Castles', 'Ragnar Brothers' - 24/08/00
Spiller and Dicken arrive at Kendall's house to find the place ringing with the howls of Kendall's children. The youngest has just been given free rein on the computer, only to find father insistent on it being bed-time. Kendall knows that his wife is set on returning to Sainsbury's in order to procure cheap leggings and that it's now or never as regards getting the kids down. Spiller and Dicken fain the indifference of men used to the failings of others. Dicken produces the fantasy football print-out. Its just a handful of days since the start of the season, but Spiller is already hang-dog. Roy Keane out ( Too likely to be sent off ); Patrick Vieira in - two red cards inside three days. Paul has stood us up. He says he has to see some bloke in a pub whom he hasn't seen for ages and that its a prior engagement, double booking etc. Sounds a bit dodgy to us and we'll be letting Liz know in due course.
Meanwhile, after some debate its been decided that 'Kings and Castles' will stay on the agenda, despite the preference for playing it as a four player. We haven't as yet played with a 'finished' copy. Kendall has set up, even going so far as to iron the map - highly recommended - and fastidiously placing all the counters with their feet pointing South. Spiller is encouraged to remember the one rule he always forgets, and away we go.
'Kings and Castles' was Phil's idea originally, but Kendall hi-jacked it pretty early on and has been pushing it in front of Dicken and Spiller for the last four or five years. There have been any number of versions; some have been card games, some have had auctions, one consisted of going round the map with a dice shouting, "The old King dies!" . Forgetting old rules and learning new ones has particularly tested Spiller's patience and caused Dicken to sit for minutes at a time in sickening indecision. 'Kings' are selected and Dicken has three of the first five. He invades England with William I and then taxes. Spiller plays next and decides (radically) to do next to nothing. Dicken completes the conquest of England with William II and taxes again. This means he has used two of his three opportunities to tax and there are still twenty-one Kings to go. Spiller encourages him to blow the whole lot on Henry I in France - but Dicken will not be drawn. Kendall is having trouble with Dicken's untidy play. Counters are not being placed neatly enough, indeed a castle has been placed 'overlapping' an archer. Dicken glances meaningfully at Kendall and mentions something about anal retention and obsessive compulsive disorder, he's smiling though so Kendall supposes that he doesn't mean it. Dicken has a nasty habit of slowly removing an occupying army with one hand, placing his own army with the other, and then slinging everything else into the box-lid like so much chaff. This is accompanied by a rambling commentary to which no-one pays any attention. He may well be fiddling things, but Spiller and Kendall are far too polite to ask.
Spiller's rule problem concerns the relation between his own army, the armies of other players and the armies of the 'enemy' (i.e. Scots, Welsh, French etc.). He cannot understand that at least for part of the game he is essentially on the same side as Dicken and Kendall, and that the 'enemy' are the enemy. It goes against his Viking instinct. Kendall is prone to quietly correcting him. Kendall is also prone to incorrectly correcting him - which doesn't go down too well. Meanwhile, Dicken's hold on England has been broken. Kendall's forces hold London and the North as well as most of Ireland. He makes hay with a couple of taxations. Spiller doesn't appear to be getting anywhere fast, but talks a good game about major offensives whilst trying to re-invent himself as someone who doesn't mind losing.
We are playing a house rule regarding drawing of counters; a player draws his 'King's Bonus' prior to the previous player sorting out his Array. This helps the flow of play. We couldn't put it in the rule book as it would take an age to explain, would confuse the average punter and it does rely on integrity amongst players. Dicken is caught re-drawing counters whilst mumbling, "Is that all there is!" and his Array is dominated by his own armies, mercenaries and castles. Kendall has drawn a large numbers of enemy armies, which happens to be particularly bad news for Dicken as it means his planned campaigns in Scotland and Ireland have to be aborted. Dicken contents himself with building a giant army ready for a big push in England during the Wars of the Roses. Playing with impressive historicity, Spiller manages to conquer the whole of France with Henry V. Very un-historically the enemy armies that might re-conquer it have dried up. Kendall cocks-up his final counter draw and Dicken's big push fails to impress. Spiller is sure he hasn't won, but is delighted to find himself proved wrong.
With 'Kings' taking about ninety minutes, Spiller is keen to play 'Tikal' again. It turns out that he means 'Maharajah' , which had taken about two hours last time with Paul and Liz. As predicted the game plays easier with three and we crack through it before 11.00pm. Spiller wins again - the first time he has won two 'big' games in an evening. Gorgeous!
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